Tag Archives: quarantine

Hair

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Just as NY was the first to succumb to the pandemic, it seems we are the first hopefully seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.

This morning I am getting my hair done at my favorite salon. After 2 weeks of my second shot I was supposed to be highly immune to the worst of COVID-19 and the first thing I wanted to do was my hair. Not see old friends, go to a restaurant, party or concert, but do one of the things that I definitely cannot do well myself. Color and cut my hair!!! I diligently colored the gray regularly, don’t get me wrong. I didn’t let myself go, at least not completely, in the comfort of hiding at home. I even got one of those plastic guides to cut hair, especially for my daughter whose hair had grown so long it was literally uncomfortable for her. Yet, today when I arrived to the salon my favorite stylist couldn’t help herself in laughing with me about how bad the situation was.

She is still diligently making sure my color is pristine while I write on my phone, but I already feel like 10 years younger, if not more. The reflection in the mirror in recent weeks was making me feel sad. It was a clear contrast with pictures of my younger self that my phone widgets randomly pic to entertain me with. Gray, uneven, frizzy hair. The horror. I know that after she is done my hair will be again one of the things I have always liked about myself.

My mother has long, luscious hair. She spends a considerable amount of time styling it every day. I guess I got my love for hair from her. I am much more laid back but I still enjoy a good hair day. And today will be one!!! I am excited as you can feel. I am also grateful. My favorite salon didn’t close forever, and while my favorite restaurants are gone, it gives me a sense of comfort and normality I really needed.

There are other aspects of going back to normality that are giving me stress. I am not ready to go back to how things were, at least not 5 days a week. Just as the world economy needs to recover better and not just back to business as usual, I hope offices, schools, routine also return better, healthier. What are you looking forward to when this nightmare is finally over?

Homebound

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Groundhog months

Ms. Pac-Man mini arcade has arrived today; the latest addition to our private sanctuary. Home has become everything for most of us and adding little things that would be otherwise inexcusable extravagances is now possible. After 50 years, it continues to be a delightful experience for all ages. Our tween has spent uncountable hours in her room playing with her phone and today she is with us in the living room and cannot get enough of it.

I may be the last one on earth, but recently I rediscovered lounging. I remember timeless hours with friends just doing nothing but being together and it was awesome. Adult life is regimented. You have stress, a daily agenda, so much so that you start including time with your family as part of your obligations.

Lounging is different. It is just relaxing but not alone. Decompressing by watching something together, having a beer or coffee without a set agenda or time limits. No tension. It is awesome. I get into the best conversation with my daughter and days seem kinder for all of us.

I guess one reason I am only rediscovering it now is that burnout forced me to reconsider my relationship with work. I still work hard and many hours but I mostly don’t stress over it. I know that I am doing my best at all times so when something goes wrong, as it always will because that is life, I can honestly just acknowledge, learn and move on.

Learning has been unavoidable this past year. Just a different kind of learning than the one that gives you diplomas. Learning how to build good routines for yourself, to be more self reliable and organized, to accept your idiosyncrasies and those of your life companions. Learn to accept bad days and weeks in which you do none of the above and know that the next day you can try again.

I haven’t learnt to play piano or ice sculpting or how to be less obnoxious, like Phil Connors did while awaiting Punxsutawney Phil’s predictions, but I think I have profited from the few upsides of this 2020 nightmarish Groundhog Day that we have had to collectively endure around the world.

I celebrate the little things. Like connecting with you again. Writing was impossible at the levels of stress I was enduring until recently. How are you doing? What have you learned? Lounging anyone?

Burnout

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We have all lost so much in 2020. We lost the certainty of life as usual. We lost friends and moments. We lost hugs and coffee breaks. We will never get those back. How can we then face the idea of welcoming a new year? I thought these were the roaring twenties for godsake!. I am afraid of having high hopes again. I am afraid of wishing a return to normal. I may jinx it.

At the same time I would be lying if I didnt acknowledge what I have gained this year. I have had enough time with myself to definitvely have to come to terms with my idiosincracies. At the start of the pandemic all I could do not to drive myself crazy was to work non-stop. Adrenaline filled the void that a foregone daily life left in me.

I was unstoppable. I could work day in day out and was seriously enjoying it. I barely saw my family, stranded in the next room, left to their own devices in this the loneliest ever world. I think things went well until the summer. Six months straight of pure unadultered workoholic pleasure. Even when I was on a break I was only focused on recovering to start again with even more tenacity.

And then came the unavoidable burnout. I guess I had heard of it happening, but It wasn’t until I was not even able to read a few lines straight that I realized it was happening to me. It was brutal. Every email filled me with anxiety. Every little task that I had done many times before became a struggle. I started wondering how I had suddenly become useless if only few weeks before I was doing everything and enjoying it.

The thing is that my body couldn’t take it anymore. My nerves were shot. I had even forgotten to eat, and while I was enjoying the number on the scale, the situation was untenable. I was not living. I was escaping. But from what exactly? Boredom?

I have since recovered and forced myself to slowdown, proritizing and asking for help. Those are the life skills that the pandemic has given me. I have gained perspective. I now know that I don’t need to be always busy. That I can stand my own company and can fill my time with enjoyable passtimes. And I am extremely thankful for that.

Cabin fever

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The unthinkable is happening. New York is closing its doors. Museums are shutting down tomorrow. Schools are closing left and right. Concerts and gatherings are off the table. The city that never sleeps is getting ready to hibernate.

Corona virus cases are getting closer and closer to home. We have been at home for 4 days now and we may have to stay here for at least two more weeks. Thanks to modern technology I have been working non-stop. That certainly helps diminish the cabin fever feeling.

Speaking of cabin fever, my favorite movie is “The Shining”. What we are living can certainly be a threat to our mental health and force some of us to feel that All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy… all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy… I may reach that point if amazon stops delivering…

Something I am really missing is Taekwondo. I am so hooked with it that I got myself a uniform and I am happy to report that this started a trend in the class. Yet, I missed class last Friday as my new job got frantic very fast, and now it is cancelled until further notice. I asked the teacher if she would give classes via skype. Wait, what? I don’t know who I am anymore, but I like this new me.

I wonder how many things will forever change after this emergency is over. For one, we will have experienced telecommuting at full length and those reluctant to it may finally get used to accept and welcome it. The barrier that still made presential meetings more appealing than virtual ones has been broken. In short, technology has really come to stay at the workplace.

In quarantine, I recently rediscovered Coupling. I used to watch it every Friday night in BBC America. It is ridiculously funny. While I can’t relate to the anxieties of being single anymore and can’t really watch Sex and the City again anymore for that reason, Coupling is still full of relatable and hilarious situations. The giggle loop, captain subtext and the head laugh are just classics. I highly recommend it. It is a very good way to withstand this strange horror movie situation we are all experiencing first-hand.

How are you dealing with it? Is your city closing down?

Touch, I remember touch

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Quarantine may be upon us. The corona virus is spreading like a wildfire and we seem to be getting ready to stay isolated for weeks if necessary. At home, we stocked up on basic supplies, food and water and now we are bracing for what seems inevitable. I still wonder if the panic is warranted but it is certainly becoming more and more difficult to fight against it. Schools are getting ready to teach remotely and if that happens it will be difficult to keep a normal routine.

I spent years of my life thinking about global value chains and their impact on development. Somehow, they seemed to be a feature of the world economy that was here to stay, and we had no option but to contend with it. While global value chains proved relatively resilient to the 2008 crisis, they seem to be crumbling under the weight of current international tensions and COVID19. So much for research elegantly withstanding the implacable real world…

Another thing that has been changing is the way people greet each other. There are still many offering a hand to shake or a welcoming hug, but most are incorporating elbow, fist and many other variations to their social interactions. The transition is not easy. Someone offered me a handshake yesterday and I chose to offer a fist bump. Let me tell you: I don’t think that person will ever like me. But what can we do, especially with no hand sanitizer to be found in the city?

And boy! hand sanitizer is urgently needed if we are to keep our hands clean as advised. Have you realized how many surfaces your hands touch during the day? Pay attention. You will be surprised. There is almost no way to avoid it!  Gloves anyone?

Going back to more mundane issues, this was the first week in my new job. It was exhilarating. I had really missed the fast pace and busyness that makes days go by without space for boredom. I am quite tired, but I feel alive, needed. I suddenly have the stamina to start the day earlier than ever.  I am also enjoying having a productive outlet to my smartphone addiction, as the new responsibilities require seamless attention to tight deadlines. What has been tough of course is finding the time to write to you. Yet, I will not give up, I promise!