Holidays

Utica, Cundinamarca

Continuing with nostalgic topics, I must say I had amazing holidays growing up. Of course I did not know that then and I used to complain about what I was missing out far away from the city.

Utica, on the way from Bogota to Medellin, was a paradise for me. The weather was always hot, but breezy. I used to go horse back riding by myself, galloping at high speed. Oh the freedom!!

There was a pool in which I spent countless hours, and a river nearby with family-made ponds, for hours of non-stop fun. I think what I remember most vividly were the hundreds of hours reading in hammocks around the house and playing cards and other games with my aunties and grandmother.

On Sundays, the town square would fill up with vegetables and fruits, clothes and Tchotchkes. It was a 30 minute walk from the house, totally worth it. We would start early and after shopping we would have decadent fruit salads and shaved ice with condensed milk. My mouth waters as I write this.

There were downsides too, don’t get me wrong. Little bats lived in the house and used to take stabs at scaring me in the middle of the night. There were also millions of mosquitos and scorpions around. But those memories have faded away and all that matters now is the warmth of well spent family time.

I must say that I have always been a very urban sort of person. Writing this from a suburban house in Piermont NY I feel the strong need to be back to the noise and messiness of a big city.

Yet, I would give anything to be back at that house that no longer belongs to our family, to that river, to that pool, to those moments of absolute bliss now gone forever.

My parents still go out of the city every weekend. Right now they are by the ocean in an idilic place with barely electricity, paradise for their rustic taste. I miss them and my brother and his beautiful family. This year I was able to spend roughly 20 days with them and it was exhilarating. I wish 2024 brings more of that and I wish them a year of adventures and love.

What are your wishes for the New Year?

Mine are writing and reading!! I want to read 13 books and write the first draft of my book on commodities. Let’s see how that goes…

A different market is possible…

It has been a pandemic since last time I wrote. A pandemic. We lived through the unthinkable. And it is officially over, although people are still getting covid-19 here and there.

The unthinkable has also happened with my PhD dissertation. It may have real world by-products. And this is because my obsession has landed in a radical proposal: to reimagine commodity markets. This is my first attempt to put it on paper, so please bear with me if it is all over the place.

Commodity markets (coffee, cocoa, metals, etc..) have functioned almost the same way since the late 1800s. Commodity exchanges, privately-owned, intermediate the bulk of primary commodities. Prices are determined in this, maybe the only “perfect competition” market, and producer countries are price takers. Producers are now even more removed from prices due to financialization. And the consequences are brutal in terms of growth, booms and busts impossible to predict, and only benefiting asset owners that trade in the market.

While in the 1950s it was impossible to conceive a different way of trading primary products, but in bulk and without differentiation, today technology and changes in consumer preferences towards variety and specificity, have changed the way that many countries conceive their primary products. Many countries (and companies) are now promoting their coffee or cacao (artisanal chocolate) as luxury goods and they are selling big time.

As no change in those markets was conceivable, the only way for countries to escape deteriorating terms of trade was to diversify into manufactures. Primary products were destined to be a curse that countries had to deal with.

Yet, after 75 years of the same policy recommendation, 100 countries are still commodity dependent. Many have even deindustrialized prematurely. This requires a change in policy guidance that acknowledges and better uses the primary products that fuel the world economy.

This is especially true in a world of global value chains in manufactures. While a consumer may be willing to pay a $1000 for a phone, the producers in developing countries are price takers in a system that ensures that the “cost” of production is the lowest. To put it bluntly, global value chains commodified the production of manufactures in developing countries.

So it seems only reasonable to imagine a transformation in which developing countries actually achieve structural change through using what only they can produce. Processing at the source, using marketing to reach out to consumers that are willing to pay, and slowly fix the biggest market failure ever imagined. It is the only market with quasi perfect competition. Only the consumers (and intermediaries) benefit. The externalities are poverty and inequality. This screams for change.

The moment of a radical change in the way of thinking about these markets may be closer than we think.

First of all, we need to remind ourselves that the structure of the commodities markets is not set in stone. It is a human creation. It is something that could change.

Second, climate change is being affected by the traditional division of labor that send the raw materials to advanced economies, only to be sent back again to be sold at the source. Reducing this in half would certainly contribute to fight climate change. Technologies to make it happen in a sustainable way are not unattainable.

Third, consumers of the future, including my daughter’s generation are not conditioned by a preconception that only products from developed countries are desirable. She prefers a chocolate with a history and a connection, to a European chocolate. This opens the door to private investment in developing countries. It is the market of the future.

Fourth, producers are also starting to realize that the negotiation power can shift. We need countries that see the value of the products and sit at the table with pride and purpose, not to passively wish that their products are bought, in bulk, with close to zero value added.

Fifth, the global situation is leaving little space to donors to contribute in traditional ways. Yet, as the Financing for Development process at the UN calls for, the best way is for countries to rely on themselves in a sustainable way. If primary commodities become processed goods, this may be closer than we think.

This will not be easy. It is a dream, but I am willing to believe that, by dreaming, we can change reality.

Hair

Just as NY was the first to succumb to the pandemic, it seems we are the first hopefully seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.

This morning I am getting my hair done at my favorite salon. After 2 weeks of my second shot I was supposed to be highly immune to the worst of COVID-19 and the first thing I wanted to do was my hair. Not see old friends, go to a restaurant, party or concert, but do one of the things that I definitely cannot do well myself. Color and cut my hair!!! I diligently colored the gray regularly, don’t get me wrong. I didn’t let myself go, at least not completely, in the comfort of hiding at home. I even got one of those plastic guides to cut hair, especially for my daughter whose hair had grown so long it was literally uncomfortable for her. Yet, today when I arrived to the salon my favorite stylist couldn’t help herself in laughing with me about how bad the situation was.

She is still diligently making sure my color is pristine while I write on my phone, but I already feel like 10 years younger, if not more. The reflection in the mirror in recent weeks was making me feel sad. It was a clear contrast with pictures of my younger self that my phone widgets randomly pic to entertain me with. Gray, uneven, frizzy hair. The horror. I know that after she is done my hair will be again one of the things I have always liked about myself.

My mother has long, luscious hair. She spends a considerable amount of time styling it every day. I guess I got my love for hair from her. I am much more laid back but I still enjoy a good hair day. And today will be one!!! I am excited as you can feel. I am also grateful. My favorite salon didn’t close forever, and while my favorite restaurants are gone, it gives me a sense of comfort and normality I really needed.

There are other aspects of going back to normality that are giving me stress. I am not ready to go back to how things were, at least not 5 days a week. Just as the world economy needs to recover better and not just back to business as usual, I hope offices, schools, routine also return better, healthier. What are you looking forward to when this nightmare is finally over?

What is in a name?

I have had many names. When I was inside my mother’s belly, my grandfather decided my name was Angela Maria, a combination of my parents names. Then, as an act of rebellion, they decided to legally call me Maria Angela.

Then came my difficulty at pronouncing my long composite name. Jamaria was the best I could do. Since then for my family I have always been Jamaria, Jamala, Jama, Jamarin, Jamarincito.

To be honest I never liked Angela Maria so much and Jama was not an acceptable alternative out in the world. My friends at school called me Angela. My foes made fun of Maria, the girl with long braids. I didn’t really mind much. My dream was to be Heidi, the girl of the prairie.

Then came my own rebellion. In college, I decided I was Mariangela. Not Maria Angela or Angela Maria or Angela, but Mariangela. This was and still is how I see myself.

After I moved to the US my name morphed again into Maria, Marie, Mary, Mari-Angele and other versions and pronunciations. By now, I am so used to the fluidity of it that I just invite people to call me the way it feels better for them. And I mean it.

This includes names I really love, like Angeline, Angelita, Angie, mi Angels, MA, Mangela and the best, of course: Mama.

I know how important a name is for a person. According to Carnegie, in his still relevant classic book about human nature, the name is one of the most cherished things a person has. It is recognition. It is identity and value.

Since reading that book I have been thinking a lot about names and actually started to try to be better at remembering then. It is not easy for me, but it feels good to try. Relating names to stories, writing down details, like the pros do.

But please forgive if I momentarily blank when I run into you in the corridor. Oh, wait, that doesn’t happen anymore. We now have video calls…

So what is in a name? Is it part of you? Is it a reflection of yourself? How can it become so important when it is your parents’ decision when you are born?How do you feel about your name? Did you wish your name was Margaret Tatcher? I did as a little girl…

Burnout

We have all lost so much in 2020. We lost the certainty of life as usual. We lost friends and moments. We lost hugs and coffee breaks. We will never get those back. How can we then face the idea of welcoming a new year? I thought these were the roaring twenties for godsake!. I am afraid of having high hopes again. I am afraid of wishing a return to normal. I may jinx it.

At the same time I would be lying if I didnt acknowledge what I have gained this year. I have had enough time with myself to definitvely have to come to terms with my idiosincracies. At the start of the pandemic all I could do not to drive myself crazy was to work non-stop. Adrenaline filled the void that a foregone daily life left in me.

I was unstoppable. I could work day in day out and was seriously enjoying it. I barely saw my family, stranded in the next room, left to their own devices in this the loneliest ever world. I think things went well until the summer. Six months straight of pure unadultered workoholic pleasure. Even when I was on a break I was only focused on recovering to start again with even more tenacity.

And then came the unavoidable burnout. I guess I had heard of it happening, but It wasn’t until I was not even able to read a few lines straight that I realized it was happening to me. It was brutal. Every email filled me with anxiety. Every little task that I had done many times before became a struggle. I started wondering how I had suddenly become useless if only few weeks before I was doing everything and enjoying it.

The thing is that my body couldn’t take it anymore. My nerves were shot. I had even forgotten to eat, and while I was enjoying the number on the scale, the situation was untenable. I was not living. I was escaping. But from what exactly? Boredom?

I have since recovered and forced myself to slowdown, proritizing and asking for help. Those are the life skills that the pandemic has given me. I have gained perspective. I now know that I don’t need to be always busy. That I can stand my own company and can fill my time with enjoyable passtimes. And I am extremely thankful for that.

I am back

As for most of you, I imagine, this has not been the easiest time. Definitely not the roaring Twenties I was celebrating in my first post this year. More like a strange and exhausting thriller or horror movie. Life obviously is much more creative than any script.

Who would have thought that the whole world would be facing unthinkable loses? That meeting anyone in person, at work or for fun, would be something we would be strongly discouraged to do? That the movie Five Feet Apart would be our common future? That going to the park or to walk the dog without a mask would be a nice memory of privileges we cannot afford anymore?

At home we took quarantine very seriously. During the peak we even decided not to take our dog out. It was not a good picture but it was better than risking going out for any reason. And even now that things are opening in the city, we remain isolated. Every day I feel more at ease and may end up trying one of the little outdoor restaurants that have flourished on side walks and streets around the city very soon. But life may never be the same again.

Working from home has been exhausting. I started a new assignment in March and all of the sudden it became clear that my portfolio was central. Development became, for the first time, a global emergency. So many people have lost their jobs, their loved ones, their routines. It became clear to me that having a job was a privilege and that trying to contribute in any way possible was, and is, my obligation. Everything else lost urgency.

After almost getting completely burned out, to the point of lowering my defenses, I took a break. It is almost over and I will be back to work on Monday but I feel I have regained a certain balance. I know life will never be the same but I have certain confirmation that as a family we can even handle a months long cabin fever. I did not kill anybody or got killed. In fact we are closer. And that is priceless.

I also know that now I am ready to live again. I know that while everything has changed and it is an unthinkable tragedy we have no alternative but adapting and going forward. It is not going to be easy but, together, we can do it. We have to.

Cabin fever

The unthinkable is happening. New York is closing its doors. Museums are shutting down tomorrow. Schools are closing left and right. Concerts and gatherings are off the table. The city that never sleeps is getting ready to hibernate.

Corona virus cases are getting closer and closer to home. We have been at home for 4 days now and we may have to stay here for at least two more weeks. Thanks to modern technology I have been working non-stop. That certainly helps diminish the cabin fever feeling.

Speaking of cabin fever, my favorite movie is “The Shining”. What we are living can certainly be a threat to our mental health and force some of us to feel that All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy… all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy… I may reach that point if amazon stops delivering…

Something I am really missing is Taekwondo. I am so hooked with it that I got myself a uniform and I am happy to report that this started a trend in the class. Yet, I missed class last Friday as my new job got frantic very fast, and now it is cancelled until further notice. I asked the teacher if she would give classes via skype. Wait, what? I don’t know who I am anymore, but I like this new me.

I wonder how many things will forever change after this emergency is over. For one, we will have experienced telecommuting at full length and those reluctant to it may finally get used to accept and welcome it. The barrier that still made presential meetings more appealing than virtual ones has been broken. In short, technology has really come to stay at the workplace.

In quarantine, I recently rediscovered Coupling. I used to watch it every Friday night in BBC America. It is ridiculously funny. While I can’t relate to the anxieties of being single anymore and can’t really watch Sex and the City again anymore for that reason, Coupling is still full of relatable and hilarious situations. The giggle loop, captain subtext and the head laugh are just classics. I highly recommend it. It is a very good way to withstand this strange horror movie situation we are all experiencing first-hand.

How are you dealing with it? Is your city closing down?