Mariangela Parra

Your friendly neighborhood economist.

Until the end of the world

Posted on April 3, 2021 by MParra

Movies and music used to be an important part of my life. I used to hang out with cool friends that could speak for hours about Win Wenders and obscure soundtracks. I never knew too much about those myself but I guess I brought other things to the conversation. Fascination for example, and endless curiosity.

Courtesy of the pandemic we now have access to all streaming channels available. This includes Criterion. And yes, I finally got to watch the movie with such a great title and amazing soundtrack. It turns out that the soundtrack was more successful than the movie. I can see how excruciating it would have been to watch it at the movie theater. At home, with pauses for life and sleep, it is a 5-hour masterpiece of imagination and travel.

It got me thinking about art and artsy people that spend their lives following their passion and making a name for themselves. I admire their courage and dedication. So much to say about their time and understanding of the world. I am not sure much will be left to reminisce about in 50 years. Maybe I am already too old to appreciate new trends, but somehow I doubt tiktok will pass the test of time.

That takes me to reading. For years I have felt guilty and sad about only reading for work. I reminisce of the summers at my grandparents farm, laying in a hammock and devouring book after book. It is difficult to replicate that sense of eternity and lack of urgency that allows you to just embody the story the characters are going through. It also takes good writing. And that is as precious as gold.

I am very partial to certain authors and styles. I guess coming from the country of Macondo I was destined to enjoy the so-called Literatura Fantastica. Cien años de soledad and La casa de los espiritus are my all time favorites. I think it is also about timeless families and stories. I couldn’t get enough from Guadalcanal and now from Largo Petalo de mar.

I am not sure any of those will be the same in English. Each language has its own music and very rarely have I enjoyed a literary translation. Yet, I guess if you don’t know the original language it doesn’t matter. So if you have a chance I encourage you to try some Isabel Allende, Garcia Marquez, Benedetti, William Ospina, and let yourself go.

Homebound

Posted on March 20, 2021 by MParra

Ms. Pac-Man mini arcade has arrived today; the latest addition to our private sanctuary. Home has become everything for most of us and adding little things that would be otherwise inexcusable extravagances is now possible. After 50 years, it continues to be a delightful experience for all ages. Our tween has spent uncountable hours in her room playing with her phone and today she is with us in the living room and cannot get enough of it.

I may be the last one on earth, but recently I rediscovered lounging. I remember timeless hours with friends just doing nothing but being together and it was awesome. Adult life is regimented. You have stress, a daily agenda, so much so that you start including time with your family as part of your obligations.

Lounging is different. It is just relaxing but not alone. Decompressing by watching something together, having a beer or coffee without a set agenda or time limits. No tension. It is awesome. I get into the best conversation with my daughter and days seem kinder for all of us.

I guess one reason I am only rediscovering it now is that burnout forced me to reconsider my relationship with work. I still work hard and many hours but I mostly don’t stress over it. I know that I am doing my best at all times so when something goes wrong, as it always will because that is life, I can honestly just acknowledge, learn and move on.

Learning has been unavoidable this past year. Just a different kind of learning than the one that gives you diplomas. Learning how to build good routines for yourself, to be more self reliable and organized, to accept your idiosyncrasies and those of your life companions. Learn to accept bad days and weeks in which you do none of the above and know that the next day you can try again.

I haven’t learnt to play piano or ice sculpting or how to be less obnoxious, like Phil Connors did while awaiting Punxsutawney Phil’s predictions, but I think I have profited from the few upsides of this 2020 nightmarish Groundhog Day that we have had to collectively endure around the world.

I celebrate the little things. Like connecting with you again. Writing was impossible at the levels of stress I was enduring until recently. How are you doing? What have you learned? Lounging anyone?

I am back

Posted on August 20, 2020 by MParra

As for most of you, I imagine, this has not been the easiest time. Definitely not the roaring Twenties I was celebrating in my first post this year. More like a strange and exhausting thriller or horror movie. Life obviously is much more creative than any script.

Who would have thought that the whole world would be facing unthinkable loses? That meeting anyone in person, at work or for fun, would be something we would be strongly discouraged to do? That the movie Five Feet Apart would be our common future? That going to the park or to walk the dog without a mask would be a nice memory of privileges we cannot afford anymore?

At home we took quarantine very seriously. During the peak we even decided not to take our dog out. It was not a good picture but it was better than risking going out for any reason. And even now that things are opening in the city, we remain isolated. Every day I feel more at ease and may end up trying one of the little outdoor restaurants that have flourished on side walks and streets around the city very soon. But life may never be the same again.

Working from home has been exhausting. I started a new assignment in March and all of the sudden it became clear that my portfolio was central. Development became, for the first time, a global emergency. So many people have lost their jobs, their loved ones, their routines. It became clear to me that having a job was a privilege and that trying to contribute in any way possible was, and is, my obligation. Everything else lost urgency.

After almost getting completely burned out, to the point of lowering my defenses, I took a break. It is almost over and I will be back to work on Monday but I feel I have regained a certain balance. I know life will never be the same but I have certain confirmation that as a family we can even handle a months long cabin fever. I did not kill anybody or got killed. In fact we are closer. And that is priceless.

I also know that now I am ready to live again. I know that while everything has changed and it is an unthinkable tragedy we have no alternative but adapting and going forward. It is not going to be easy but, together, we can do it. We have to.

Cabin fever

Posted on March 13, 2020 by MParra

The unthinkable is happening. New York is closing its doors. Museums are shutting down tomorrow. Schools are closing left and right. Concerts and gatherings are off the table. The city that never sleeps is getting ready to hibernate.

Corona virus cases are getting closer and closer to home. We have been at home for 4 days now and we may have to stay here for at least two more weeks. Thanks to modern technology I have been working non-stop. That certainly helps diminish the cabin fever feeling.

Speaking of cabin fever, my favorite movie is “The Shining”. What we are living can certainly be a threat to our mental health and force some of us to feel that All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy… all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy… I may reach that point if amazon stops delivering…

Something I am really missing is Taekwondo. I am so hooked with it that I got myself a uniform and I am happy to report that this started a trend in the class. Yet, I missed class last Friday as my new job got frantic very fast, and now it is cancelled until further notice. I asked the teacher if she would give classes via skype. Wait, what? I don’t know who I am anymore, but I like this new me.

I wonder how many things will forever change after this emergency is over. For one, we will have experienced telecommuting at full length and those reluctant to it may finally get used to accept and welcome it. The barrier that still made presential meetings more appealing than virtual ones has been broken. In short, technology has really come to stay at the workplace.

In quarantine, I recently rediscovered Coupling. I used to watch it every Friday night in BBC America. It is ridiculously funny. While I can’t relate to the anxieties of being single anymore and can’t really watch Sex and the City again anymore for that reason, Coupling is still full of relatable and hilarious situations. The giggle loop, captain subtext and the head laugh are just classics. I highly recommend it. It is a very good way to withstand this strange horror movie situation we are all experiencing first-hand.

How are you dealing with it? Is your city closing down?

Office space

Posted on February 27, 2020 by MParra

I am packing my office, like I have done many times before. Only this time by the end of the process the objective is not to organize and move my belongings, but to have no belongings at all at work. No more family pictures and other mementos to reveal details about the human being that spends countless hours around. I guess for those of us that get more than a bit disorganized when busy, an undeniable advantage is that nobody would get to see the mess anymore. Still, I wonder how much of the creative process we will lose by tidying up after ourselves night after night, instead of as a glorious ritual after finishing big tasks.

Since I started working more than twenty years ago my office has been an extension of myself. I used to take pride of the art decorating the walls or cubicle partitions, the collections of books and wooden animals decorating the shelves, the self sufficiency of a space in which I had everything I needed in case I needed to stay late. At some point I had a little fridge. At another, a gloriously red ice maker. When I was pregnant, I even had a military style cot to stretch when desperate for comfort. Going forward I will have to survive with whatever can fit in a locker. I know I will get used to it, but for now, I am mourning the loss of my woman cave, my refuge away from home. It is the end of an era.

To look at a positive angle, I guess in the end this exposure to the elements will make it a bit easier to leave the office at a set time every evening to go home and enjoy the wonderful babyness of my little girl while she is still little. I celebrate that. I also celebrate the clean slate, the unique opportunity to start anew every day. I really enjoyed that feeling every time I started working at a café or library, during the precious weeks I spent finishing my dissertation around this time last year. I didn’t need an office and countless books. Just an internet hotspot. That is work in the 21st Century.

What has been your experience with flexible working space? Or do you still have a place to call your own at work? How do we keep our humanity in these high tech and financially tight times? … Do you have a red swingline stapler? I do.

Royale with cheese

Posted on February 12, 2020 by MParra

Dear friends, the muses have left me. I desperately want to continue the conversation with you all, but I am not finding it easy to convey anything today. I have started at least three different topics and I can’t crystalize anything genuine about them. I want to tell you about the meaning of dancing in my life, as suggested by my dear friend Lina. I want to write about Latin America too. My friend Jose Plata is an inspiration. He writes the most amazing chronicles about his travels.

I want to write about Hong Kong, a place in which I strangely felt at home and that may have changed after the turmoil. I want to pay tribute to Santiago, another place that may be unrecognizable, and which I remember with unbound appreciation and love. I want to share my excitement and anxiety about work. I want to talk about women at work. And here I am, unable to devote my 400 words at a time to any of these cherished ideas.

Writers’ block was one of the most distressing and recurrent afflictions I experienced while I was writing my dissertation. I remember the horror of writing the first sentence. I remember writing and rewriting the same paragraph over and over. Before going through that experience, I didn’t understand the genius idea of an outline. I felt uncomfortable writing sections and preferred torturing myself trying to develop full drafts from the start, revising over and over each line until it was perfect. Of course, it was never perfect. It was a waste of time, but I couldn’t help it.

I am glad the dissertation process taught me to accept that if you are stuck on something you can move to something else and get back to it in due course. So instead of punishing myself for my lack of inspiration, I acknowledge the impasse and ask for your indulgence.

Before we all forget about them, what did you think about the Oscars? For the first time in years I saw most of the nominated films. I loved “Once upon a time in Hollywood”. I was deeply moved by “Joker”. I was mostly revolted by “Parasite”. “Marriage story” made me reflect about parenting. Which one did you like best? Did you feel like me that Tarantino should have won Best Director? Was Pulp Fiction a defining movie for you and your friends like it was for mine? Did you look for Ezekiel 25 17? I did.

Trading places

Posted on January 25, 2020 by MParra

There are some movies that I can watch again and again. Trading places (1983) is one of them. It is funny and witty. Murphy and Aykroyd at their best. It is also such a perfect description of the disconnect between rich and poor and the unfairness of it all. Without money, opportunities are scarce. With money, compassion is scarce. I guess since then I can’t help but associate trading with playing with other peoples’ lives, privilege and ruthlessness. Wall Street was never for me.

While the craziness of the financial exchanges of the 1980s has been replaced by algorithms and instant electronic trading, the forces behind the stock markets remain oblivious to the realities of most people in the world. And those are not the only economic forces that seem to be inclined towards increasing inequality between the privileged few and the rest. I am not sure where we are headed but I sure hope it stops before we become a real-life version of the Hunger Games (2012), or of Black Mirror (2011) for that matter.

In the meantime, and going back to more mundane thoughts, I must report that my household has fallen under a strong streptococcus strain. Fever and malaise have been the order of the last three days and I am patiently waiting to see if I am the next to fall. My throat already hurts, but I still hope I can skip the torture of chills and aches.

As nurse on call I have had a lot of time to kill and I must confess that I broke one of my New Years’ resolutions. After 23 days of resistance, I couldn’t help but go back to playing card games on my phone. It was glorious. I still forced myself to play the daily challenge only, instead of spending way too much time most days like I did last year. I also enjoyed a big plate of fried rice.

After months of limiting my intake of carbs, as suggested by a genetic test to improve my health, I have been giving myself the permission of enjoying comfort food here and there. See, I am convinced that our bodies crave balance and that is why plateaus are not the scary monster that diet books may suggest. After a lot of yo-yo dieting, I have discovered that giving my body the chance to get used to a new level, before trying to achieve the next, works better for me. So here I am, and I am honestly enjoying it.

Staycations

Posted on July 16, 2019 by MParra

I love British TV. Initially it was the occasional pbs or bbc america show. “Coupled” is easily one of my all time favorites. “As time goes by” and even “keeping up appearances” accompanied me many Friday nights in the 2000s. Now that subscription TV has become ubiquitous, I found Acorn. I am addicted.

I am not sure what it is about British TV but I can’t get enough of it. It is cynical, funny, macabre, interesting and mostly witty. To make things more difficult, and immensely more enjoyable, Santa brought me a bigger TV.

So last winter I had the best staycations ever! I binged into so many comedies, mysteries and dramas that I felt I traveled away, not only to blissfully cynical England but to Australia and New Zealand too. So much fun!

Before that, I had realized that I needed to read much more to advance in my dissertation. So, in between shows and hanging out with my daughter, I decided to read at least one paper a day since January 1st. To my surprise I did it! Some days I even read more than one.

And this discipline continued when I got back to work. I then decided to extend it to work topics, reading minimum one of each per day. Of course some days I only read half of each, but I certainly made a big dent into the piles I had printed. And it was enjoyable!

But as with any topic in a dissertation, chances are you can always find another strand of literature or more recent papers and never have enough.

I then met with my advisor and, serendipitously, he said that the best advice his committee chair had given him at the time was… guess what: to stop reading and begin to write! You know how that went. It was a struggle to start and go on. But it has been getting done somehow.

I have given up many things to finish this academic work. But I certainly believe that you can’t give up everything, at least not for an extended period of time. Fad diets are the perfect example of that. And there are many others. I never gave up TV.

Many of my friends can live without TV. I just can’t… especially when it gets as good as “Black books, “Crownies”, “Rake”, “Ackley bridge”, Striking out” and “Love, lies and records”.