Category Archives: Dissertation

Raspberry white chocolate

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Change is finally coming! I am cautiously excited for a new assignment at work. I know it will be a lot of stress, but I am ready to deal with it with maturity and confidence. I guess my writers’ block was related to the anxiety I was feeling before the move was confirmed. I got the news on Wednesday and this is the second post I wrote since then! I may have less time to devote to writing going forward, but I hereby promise myself and you that I will write at least once a week. This blog has started so many conversations with friends all over the world. It feels as if I had the fortune of having coffee with each of them. That can’t stop!

I got an early Valentine last night. My daughter gave me a mini box of chocolate hearts and my love gave me the most sumptuous and gigantic piece of white chocolate I have ever seen and a big piece of raspberry white chocolate. Yes, it tastes as good as it sounds. I feel loved. Remember the end of “Notting Hill”? While Costello sings “She”, Hugh Grant and Julia Roberts relax in a garden surrounded by children playing. It exudes contentment and satisfaction. That is how so much love is making me feel. I must make sure that my new job doesn’t keep me from enjoying it.

Another recent surprise has been the coronavirus or Covid-19. I read that medical masks do not protect you from it and I went straight to amazon to get N95 masks (that actually work!) for the whole family. I pride myself of never wasting time in worst case scenarios, but I couldn’t help the urge to get them, you know, just in case. I tell myself that they would have been useful when my household was hit with the flu a couple of weeks ago. They will most likely stay in the closet until the next flu season, right? How are you handling this outbreak?

I finally spent some time formatting and editing one of my Chapters to submit it for publication in a journal. It took me this long, almost a year, to be able to carefully read it again and distill something from it. After all that work, it would be great to see my ideas in a legendary journal like CEPAL Review or World Development! Wish me luck!

Clarity

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I have noticed that, occasionally and without any free-will, there are days in which everything is clear.  Today is one of those days. Matters that have been bothering me suddenly have a new light, a new prism. Little and big things that I couldn’t do for weeks are suddenly accomplished. I am decisive, assertive and calm. There is no urgency or anxiety. Oh, how much I wish these days would come more frequently or I could do something to summon them. Does it happen to you? Or am I just delirious again?

My husband says that I am a half-full glass kind of person. Well, in days like today I am a glass-full person. In fact, it feels so good that the water may be overflowing while I look for a bigger glass. Music resonates. The same playlist is somehow more enjoyable. You get my drift. It is a good day. Not that things have been bad recently, really. This website has been an amazing Christmas present that keeps on giving. Receiving comments and starting conversations with you has been exhilarating. Yet, I really needed one of these days precisely now.

You see, there are changes happening at work, and it is hard not to be anxious about them. It is a futile exercise to even think about them, I know, especially because nothing really depends on me. But that is human nature for you. Today I woke up with one word in my mind. Well, two in reality: Patience and clarity. I guess after my dissertation got done, I have been waiting for my life to change. And it has, everywhere but at work. True, I feel more confident on my abilities as an economist. After all I am a now a scholar in full gown. Yet, my day to day activities are basically the same.

While an external change would be welcome, I can also change myself. I can take on more responsibility. I can be more assertive. I can move forward with my vision for the future. While I am writing this, I am already thinking about the days in which clarity will be absent, and I see myself re-reading this as a reminder, a totem to move forward. Now I must move on and use this energy while it lasts to go over my to-do lists and who knows, even maybe finally clean my room.