I finally managed to submit a draft (albeit very very partial) of my second paper!! There is still so much to do, of course, but this is definitely a BIG step!!

I am a bit surprised at myself. Instead of focusing on what my advisor may have to say about the draft later this week, and panicking, I am just enjoying a soothing sense of relief. I guess I am so tired, after working under duress last week, that my usual self-doubt voice is falling on deaf ears.

This is definitely unfamiliar territory for me. I should feel anxiety because the draft is slightly opinionated and I doubt anybody should care about my opinion. At the same time, I am just amazed I finally managed to do what many had urged me to do… countless times: put your ideas in paper!

I am honestly and almost excitedly looking forward to my advisor’s comments about the structure, substance and even gaps in the draft. It will be a long way from the many disconcerting meetings we have had before: him providing abstract guidance; me, a deer caught in bright headlights.

Now we have something concrete to talk about. We may disagree and he may not even like it, but I will no longer have to start from zero again!